It's just the beginning
by CaptainSwanForever2016
Summary: Emma Swan came back from The Underworld without Hook. But found out she was pregnant with his child. 10 years later Emma's life is no easier with Boy trouble, Family Drama, and Magical adventures. How on Earth is she expected to find her happy ending?
1. Chapter 1

**_I don't own OUAT, only Emma and Killian's child_**

 ** _I was awoken by the sound of my child's weeping, this had been happening every night for the past month she would never tell me what had happened. Milah would always make it seem like nothing and go straight back to sleep but I could tell something was wrong, she is almost 10 and I have never told her about her father._**

 ** _When we went to Hell to find Killian there were many challenges and troubles. When we finally got to him we had to face Hades and we almost had him back, but then Gold flipped everything around on us and we ended up bring back Neal. For months I fell into a pool of despair I shut everyone out and the darkness surrounded me like a blanket. One day I realised I couldn't keep going like this, this was also the day I realised I was pregnant with Milah. I still don't understand how she can to be, but when she was born I could instantly tell that she was Killian's._**

 ** _Milah was the best thing that ever happened to me, we have years of amazing memories. Over the years me and Neal got closer again and were an on and off couple. Milah and Neal got along really well, and both loved the magical adventures we went on. My heart still loved Killian so much, but I knew that I had to move on._**

 ** _I ran to Milah's room almost tripping over one of her toys, I stroked my daughter's hair it was brown like her father's. Her eyes fluttered open, looking at me._**

 **"** ** _Mummy!" she shouted as she lept into my lap._**

 **"** ** _What's the matter, Milah?"_**

 **"** ** _There… There was a man, he looked in pain. I… I tried to help him but he wouldn't let me. He tried to protect me. Mummy he… He looked like me... "_**

 ** _My heart skipped a beat, could it be. No there was no chance. None at all._**

 **"** ** _It's probably nothing Honey, go to bed"_**

 **"** ** _Mommy he said… He said he'd fight to come back… Who is he Mom?"_**

 **"** ** _Go back to bed Honey"_**

 **"** ** _Ok Mommy"_**

 ** _I couldn't even believe it was him for even a second, I would be deluding myself. I went back to bed hoping that nothing else would happen, boy was I wrong._**

 ** _The next morning the alarm went off, waking from my dreamless sleep. Getting ready for work I checked my phone. Nothing. Something was off today, everything felt weird, like something bad was going to happen. I walked into Milah's room picking up the toy I'd almost tripped over last night, Milah was already sitting up on her bed fully dressed._**

 **"** ** _Hey Honey, are you ready to go?"_**

 **"** ** _Yeah Mommy"_**

 ** _We stepped outside, like everyday the grass swayed in the cool breeze, this was the house we had planned to live in. I still had a melancholy feeling about living here. Neal came walking up the path to the gate, his smile lit up as he saw us. We left the house and started to walk over to Grannies, the walk was calming and peaceful. As we entered I saw Mary Margaret and David they were sitting in our usual spot at the back. We started to eat breakfast the food was amazing as always. As I opened the door I bumped into someone._**

 **"** ** _I'm really sorry" I said._**

 ** _The man continued walking past me without looking at me, he walked up to the counter. Just as I was about to walk out I heard him. Him._**

 **"** ** _I'm looking for Emma Swan"_**

 ** _Sorry, Sorry. I will be trying to update as much as possible._**


	2. He's back

_**AN: This wait will all be worth it, but Killian will come back to us in due time. Hope you enjoy reading. I own no characters except CH x ES child**_

 _ **I spun back around instantly recognizing his voice, but yet it sounded so different, so I saw him I knew I was right. It was Killian. Everything around me froze. How was this possible? How is he here? Then I heard a bang, next thing I know Neal has him up against the counter.**_

 _ **"Who the Hell are you"**_

 _ **"I'm Killian Jones, I've been sent to find Emma Swan. I've been told she was very important to me, but I have no idea who she is."**_

 _ **My mind finally kicked into gear and I run forward pushing Neal off of Hook. I stood in between the two trying to figure out what was going on. No words were coming from my mouth, so instead I turned to Hook. He still looked so much like himself, all the memories came rushing back. Every kiss. Everything promise. Everything.I bit my lip and tried to talk.**_

 _ **"I'm Emma Swan, excuse my friend this is Neal, he was your friend too. About 10 years ago you died and we haven't seen you since. We tried to save you but it all went terribly wrong. I'm sorry."**_

 _ **" Miss Swan there is no need to apologise to me, I do not remember, so I take no offence"**_

 _ **"Well as you know I'm Emma, that's Neal and this beauty is Milah"**_

 _ **"She looks very much like you Miss Swan, I don't understand why I am here. I would like to get to know you Miss Swan. Personally."**_

 ** _As I was about to reply a sudden look can over his face, one of utter pain. I reached forward not knowing how to help him. I couldn't feel a pulse. I'm losing him again. No. No. No._**

 ** _"I can't feel a pulse, whats going on? My healings not working."_**

 ** _"Check his heart!"_**

 ** _As I reached into his chest I couldn't feel anything, panic was about to take over my body. My heart. My original plan. I reached into my chest, my heart pulsating in my hand. I took it and split it in two. Now I just had to... I place it back in his chest. He suddenly shot to life._**

 ** _"Do you... Do you remember me?"_**

 ** _"What did you just do?"_**

 ** _"I split my heart with you"_**

 ** _"Why?"_**

 ** _"Because... Don't make me say it out loud"_**

 ** _"What?"_**

 ** _"I still love you"_**

 ** _As I said this he shot forward, I thought he was going to kiss me, but in fact he grabbed his head. His breathing became laboured, and he almost fell to the ground (in true Captain Floor style). I could tell something had happened. Had he regained something? A part of himself? He slowly stood back up, he looked at me. I mean he looked at me. Millions of thoughts ran through my mind._**

 ** _"Emma was there a point in time when we were in a place that looked like a jungle"_**

 ** _"Yes. That was Neverland. Do you remember anything else?"_**

 ** _I couldn't get my hopes up. I definitely couldn't get her hopes up._**

 ** _"I'm afraid not"_**

 ** _"Well until you decide what to do next you can come and live with me and Milah, we aren't all that scary."_**

 ** _"I'd like that very much Emma, thank you"_**

 ** _We all then apologized to Granny and left, Neal kept looking away from me and Milah off in thought. Hook kept looking round at places trying to recollect something. Milah kept looking over towards Hook, then at me as if trying to work out why I am letting this man into our house. She didn't know this was the house me and Hook had planned to live our lives in. She was a very inquisitive and observant child. As we walked up to the front porch I pulled out my key. Hook stopped in his steps. No pleas don't remember this too early, please. Please. Please._**

 ** _"Have I been here before? This seems kind of familiar."_**

 ** _"This was going to be our future, we planned it all out."_**

 ** _"Emma... I'm gonna go you guys have a lot of catching up to do, do you want me to take Milah."_**

 ** _"Yes please" I said as I kissed Neal on the cheek. Then I turned to my daughter._**

 ** _"Uncle Neal is going to take you to his home ok honey"_**

 ** _"Ok Mommy" she said as she grabbed my waist then let go and took Neal's hand and walked off._**

 ** _I then turned towards the house, last time me and Hook had been here... It made me want to cry one of the last memories I have of him is tainted by darkness. I played down on the grass not caring if I got muddy. This was going to be a hard adventure, but the end would make it all worth it. Hook, me and Milah._**

 ** _Please rate what you want to see, should he remember being the dark one early or later. It feels like it should be near the end. I know how I want him to remember everything but I still want to know what you want to see._**


	3. Dreams reflect what could have been

_**AN: I don't own OUAT only CHXES daughter.**_

 _ **I woke up to the sound of yelling, my head was killing me. That's what I get for sleeping on the floor. I stood up shaking off the dried dirt, looking around me. Something wasn't right.**_

 _ **"This isn't like you love, letting your guard down. Bad form Swan."**_

 ** _In that one sentence I could tell so much, I loved him so much. But this seemed too perfect, he couldn't just wake up and remember me. I turned around to face him, he was leaning against the banister in his classic way, just looking at me. This was him. This was the man I loved. I ran over to him not even caring if it would bring me more heartache in the future. I crashed into him and my lips met his, so much was said in that kiss, so much that had been left unsaid at the end._**

 ** _"How are... How are you here?"_**

 ** _"I think you'll find this is a dream Swan, something you wish could be true. And of course you dream of me the dashing pirate that stole your heart."_**

 ** _"I do wish this could be true, and wish you could be with me and Milah, but I know that you won't remember me so there is no point in indulging myself in this."_**

 ** _"There's more chance than you think, love"_**

 ** _"You have to try and convince me of that Hook, remember this is my dream. That guy at my house is not you. I haven't seen you in 10 years. 10 years. And now you have no clue of who I am, and the only thing you remember is that stupid kiss in Neverland. I have a family, I don't have time Killian."_**

 ** _"Be patient, love"_**

 ** _The edges of the dream began to fade and before I knew it my eyes were fluttering open. I sat up slowly not really taking in my surroundings and instead thinking about the dream I had just had. Everything still felt so real, I swear I could still feel the tingle of his lips on mine. I stood up a single tear falling down my cheek, it really was just a dream._**

 ** _"Miss Swan are you ok?"_**

 ** _He stood there not really sure what to do, he could tell that I was upset and was trying to keep his distance. Screw distane._**

 ** _"No not really, I'd like to talk to you about our past and to try and help you. It is completely up to you and I don't want you to feel pressured in anyway. I'd like you to go into this open minded."_**

 ** _"How close were we Miss Swan"_**

 ** _"I don't want to talk about it"_**

 ** _"Please Miss Swan"_**

 ** _"You sacrificed yourself for me..."_**

 ** _"I need more than than Miss Swan."_**

 ** _"Please call me Emma, we used to be very "close". More than close, you were the love of my life. From what you said to me I assume I was yours as well."_**

 ** _I closed my eyes waiting in anticipation for him to reply, the air felt thick. I was about to tell him to forget about it, when the most unexpected thing happened. He kissed me. It didn't feel like any of our old kisses this felt fresh and new. This wasn't going to be easy. Not at all. As the kiss calmed down I stepped away, not wanting to dig myself too deep so I couldn't get back out. He'd left once, he could leave again. He coughed awkwardly as if trying to relieve the tension, but it wasn't going to disappear that easily._**

 ** _"Where did you sleep last night Killian?"_**

 ** _"Um the couch in the room with the weird thing that has moving pictures."_**

 ** _"Ok. I have to go ok. Here's the key to the door. For emergencies."_**

 ** _"Thank you Emma"_**

 ** _As I went to walk away I looked back. Hook. He was back. He may not fully be himself, but I can bring him back. I will. Walking along the road I couldn't help but notice how silent everything was at night. No evil monster was trying to kill us. I walked over to Neal's apartment, it had two bedrooms and was very comfy. I had a key but I rarely used it, it had never felt fully right to just use it, so I didn't. As I entered I could tell someone else was here, he was about 6 foot. He had his father's features and charm. Milah was sitting on his lap fast asleep, they had always got along really well and that made me glad. He turned towards the door as it open a smile playing on his face as he looked at me._**

 ** _"Hey Mom"_**

 ** _"Henry, long time no see"_**

 ** _"Sorry I haven't come to visit more, Dads been catching me up on what's going on. So... Hooks back"_**

 ** _"Kind of, he doesn't remember any of us. We made a deal that we'd try to get his memories back. But you know Hook he probably is not going to stick to it."_**

 ** _"Mom I'm not supposed to tell you this but..."_**

 ** _"What is it kid?"_**

 ** _"Nothing Mom"_**

 ** _"Ok but if there is anything you want to tell me you can."_**

 ** _"A-Actually there is, me and Violet are getting married, after 3 years I finally got her to say yes"_**

 ** _"Way to go Kid, I'm proud of you"_**

 ** _The rest of the night was Henry and me catching up on the rest of our lives. We talked till very late in the night, until I realised that Neal wasn't here._**

 ** _"Henry where's Neal, he went to go and see someone. I don't know who sorry Mom."_**

 ** _"Ok Kid, that reminds me have you gone to see Regina. You know how she gets when you come to visit but don't see her. I'm sure her and Robin would love to see you."_**

 ** _"I'm going to see them tomorrow, Mom made sure this time. I just feel really sorry for Robin, having to deal with Mom's moods."_**

 ** _"Well Regina I said hello"_**

 ** _"Of course"_**

 ** _"Lets go to bed Kid"_**

 ** _"Where's Hook?"_**

 ** _"At home"_**

 ** _After this we went to bed, me and Milah shared one of the beds and Henry took the other. As we layed in bed I watched as Milahs chest rise and fall, so much had changed in so little time. Just with Hook coming back so much in my life had changed. As I fell asleep I could tell Hook would be in my dreams again._**

 ** _The air was chilly from the midwinter breeze, on the path there was a thin layer of ice. The man I loved stood there with our child in the distance playing snowball fight, him giving her tips as they fought. He was obviously letting her win, he was a much better father than I thought he was going to be. He loved her so much, we could not be anymore perfect. Suddenly everything around us changed, the happy scene became one of destruction. There was blood everywhere, and he just stood there doing nothing, he then turned away and didn't look back._** ** _I'M NOT COMING BACK was written on the ground in blood._**

 ** _I shot awake tears streaming down my face, I reached forward. I couldn't find Milah. Milah. I tumbled out of bed, running for the living room. When I reach the living room everything calmed. There she was in Henry's lap curled up. Safe._**

 ** _"Hey Mom sorry she was really upset, there was a scary man in her dream."_**

 ** _"I know. It was Hook"_**

 ** _"How?"_**

 ** _"Dreams of what could have been. Parallels where we saved him. Ones where we were happy. Ones where he killed us all."_**

 ** _"Mom he loves you"_**

 ** _"He's Hook, he's... He's..."_**

 ** _Everything went black after that, the darkness too over. And then something happened, a blue torch lit up the room. Was it a torch? Oh no._**

 ** _"I haven't seen you in 10 years darling, how have you been?" He said as he ran a hand through his hair, behind him I could see the oracles. What on earth was I doing here._**

 ** _Who's our new character, what does he want with Emma. And why do they dreams keep haunting Milah and Emma. Find out next time._**


	4. Maybe there's hope yet

_**AN: Emma didn't fully see the man in the dream, she assumed it was Hook. She didn't think Milah would recognise him. Again I own nothing.**_

 _ **"Fuck you, Hades. You know I've been terrible."**_

 _ **"Actually I heard one of my lovely prisoner have found their way to you, I'd like them back. Very much. I can offer you many things. Like those wondrous dreams I gave you and your lovely daughter."**_

 _ **"He shares my heart you can't touch him, he has as much of a right to live as me. And leave her out of this."**_

 _ **"Why do you still fight Emma, there is no point. You know I always win, there will be no happy ending for you"**_

 ** _"Then why am I here, you have nothing to offer me"_**

 ** _"Oh but I do, memories are pesky things, running away from you just like that"_**

 ** _"You lied to me once, I won't forget that. You chose Golds deal over ours. Now please let me leave."_**

 ** _"Fine if that's what you want."_**

 ** _The world around me slowly reformed, Henry talking worriedly into a phone. Milah was sitting on the couch looking back and forth between me and Henry. Our eyes met, she jumped from the couch right to the floor next to me, and then latched herself to my stomach. She then started crying, this was when Henry finally turned our way._**

 ** _"Mom!"_**

 ** _"Kid I'm sorry for worrying you"_**

 ** _"Its fine Mom"_**

 ** _"Milah, honey I'm fine. Sweetie I know the dream was scary but I'm fine."_**

 ** _"Really?"_**

 ** _"Yes"_**

 ** _If it was somehow possible she grabbed me harder, not wanting to let go. It broke my heart that I had done this to my daughter, even more that she'd had to witness that dream. She was so young I'd wanted to protect her from everything, the way I hadn't with Henry. Hades would pay for this, when the time came. For a while we just layed there both crying, ignoring everything around us. Until we heard a knock on the door, we both stood up wiping our tears._**

 ** _"Come in, it's open."_**

 ** _"Miss Swan, are you here?"_**

 ** _"Yes I am."_**

 ** _He opened the door his eyes instantly met mine, we both turned away. Milah suddenly screamed, and ran toward her room. What is going on? I ran after her a millions of thoughts ran through my head. Had Hook done something?_**

 ** _"Honey whats the matter?"_**

 ** _"That's the man from the dream, Mommy. The scary one."_**

 ** _"That's not him Honey, he's different to him. That was an alternate world were Hook was completely evil. You remember the first one we saw, that was the kind of man your father was. He was amazing, he truly was the love of my life. Your Dad I know would have been amazing with you. But he was taken away before you were born, I tried to get him back, but something happened. I then realised I was pregnant with you, you were a part of him I still had and I loved him even more for giving me you."_**

 ** _"Mommy, does he know that I'm his daughter."_**

 ** _"No Honey, he's very confused about everything and this will just confuse him so much more."_**

 ** _We stepped back into the living room, everyone was watching us. Hook was staring at Milah and she was staring at him,they looked each other up and down. Waiting for the other to say something._**

 ** _"Hi I'm Milah, it's nice to meet you D.. Hook."_**

 ** _"Nice to meet you little lass, your mother's a lucky woman to have such a unique child."_**

 ** _As Hook said this his eyes scrunched up like he was in pain, like the other time he almost fell to the floor. This time he grabbed hold of the table. He was sweating this time droplets had formed on his head._**

 ** _"E-Emma when we met were you holding me up against a beanstalk"_**

 ** _"Yeah, yeah I was" I said smugly._**

 ** _"Ok, I'm fine if anyone wanted to know. Just saying. "_**

 ** _"Sorry.."_**

 ** _"Its nothing Emma. I'd like to agree to your deal. I'd like to regain my memories."_**

 ** _"Ok I just need to warn you, near the end we kind of had a dark patch, a really dark patch."_**

 ** _"I'm ready Emma"_**

 ** _"Great, let's go for a walk. Honey do want to come too?"_**

 ** _"Nope Mommy. Go with D.. Hook"_**

 ** _We left Neal's apartment, walking along the roads with Hook made me think back to how we used to be. Everything was so much easier back then. First stop Grannie's. We walked in and everyone looked at Hook, and I mean everyone, not everyday you see a dead man. We ordered and went to sit back outside, were we had officially first kissed. The memory came back to me in a flash, he had given up his ship for me. To save me._**

 ** _"Why are we here Emma, I know it's not just for food."_**

 ** _"This was our first proper kiss happened, exactly here. We had just come home from one of our epic adventures, and we were sitting out here and you told me you gave up your ship for me. It was the first time I saw you as an actual person, the first time I saw a guy I could be with. A guy I could rely on."_**

 ** _"That seems kind of familiar Emma, but I don't full remember Emma. I remember nothing of being Hook ok, the only thing I know is this place feels familiar. But I can't recall."_**

 ** _"We planned a life together before you died, it's the life Milah and me live. I couldn't let it go."_**

 ** _"How did I die Emma?"_**

 ** _"I... I can't tell you"_**

 ** _"Why not?"_**

 ** _"Bec-Because I can't explain to you why it came to be."_**

 ** _"Then show me, take me to where I died. Emma, I can't begin to understand if I don't know how I died."_**

 ** _"Fine... but I can't explain, not yet."_**

 ** _"Ok."_**

 ** _Sorry, I'll update soon. I promise. New memories will come back soon! But how soon? That is/was up to you!_**

 ** _Btw I recently started reading this fanfic that I really like the idea of, it's called Once Upon a Light:_** ** _s/11631706/1/Once-Upon-A-Light_**

 ** _Please go check it out!_**


	5. Memories are what create us

**AN: I can't wait for you all to read this, as always I don't own OUAT characters**

 **We walked into the forest the led to the underworld, a thousand images flashed before my eyes. Nimue suffocating me, Hook banishing dark ones to Excalibur, asking me to stab him with it, him dying. Hook could tell something was wrong.**

 **"Are you ok, Emma"**

 **"I'm fine, are you?"**

 **"Nope, something in my mind is telling me to get away as quickly as possible. I feel like I shouldn't be her. OUCH!"**

 **Blood began to seep through Hooks shirt, what the hell was happening. That's it, the underworld. We have to get away, Hades wants him back. I applied pressure to the wound, it looked really bad.**

 **"You can't have him, Hades leave us alone. Hook stay awake, look at me"**

 **"I'm trying, love"**

 **"What did you just say? Hook?"**

 **"I'm trying Emma"**

 **"No you called me love, you called me love."**

 **"Emma what is going on, why did you turn me.."**

 **"Killian, stay with me. It was because I loved you, we can't go over this at the moment. You promised a future you better stick to it."**

 **Killian POV**

 **Emma really was an amazing woman, she's helping me get back to myself. Whoever that is, she really loves him. I mean me. I'm not even sure if the man she described was me. When we reach the area Emma wanted to bring me to I could already tell I didn't want to be anywhere near here, I couldn't tell if that was a good or bad thing. I turned to Emma, she look petrified. Like something big had gone down here between us. The edges of my sight began to blur, and I felt a sudden pain in my chest like I had been stabbed. I looked down towards the pain, blood was seeping through my shirt. What was happening? Images flashed before my eyes, I was in a field with Emma kissing. Next image we were in the same field, I was bleeding and Emma was using some kind of magic on me. Then I see myself holding the heart of a man wearing a cape. So many images, no explanation. I tried to call out to Emma. After that I blacked out.**

 **Emma POV**

 **After Hook passed out it took me a second to fully process it, then I dragged him away from the portal as quickly as possible. I then begun to panic when he didn't wake up straight away. Was he dead, coma, just unconscious. I had no idea. I had to call someone. Neal. I pulled out my phone and rung him.**

 **"Hello Neal speaking."**

 **"Neal it's Emma, Hooks not conscious. I need you to come and help me bring him to the hospital. Please."**

 **"Sure where are you?"**

 **"Lake. Underworld. Hurry."**

 **My phone started making beeping sounds signalling it was dead. All I could do now was wait. I sat there and stared at Hook, was he going to live? About 2 minutes later I heard Neals car pull up,and he jumped out.**

 **"What the hell happened?"**

 **"I'll explain on the way, let's go."**

 **We picked up Hook and placed him in the back seat, and Neal jumped in the front while I stayed in the back.**

 **"Now tell me what happened."**

 **"We went there and all of a sudden Hook starts bleeding out, I realised it was Hades. He wants him back Neal. Now"**

 **"Thats bad Emma, why has he only just brought back his wounds now"**

 **"My guess is that we were near the portal his link to our world. Also he told me he would find a way to bring Hook back to him, one way or another."**

 **The rest of the ride we stayed silent, hoping everything would be ok. When we got there the Doctor was already there waiting for us, Hook was rushed in automatically and we weren't allowed past a certain point.I'm so scared, what is going to happen. I don't know how long went by minutes, hours, years but the Doctor finally came back to us. He assured that Hook would be fine and we could see him in a couple of hours during visiting time. 4 hours later we are allowed past, I am first, I run up to his door and ram it open.**

 **"Mam' can you please by more quieter, Mr Jones is trying to rest."**

 **"I'm sorry I just wanted to see if he was ok."**

 **"He's fine Mam'. "**

 **"Great."**

 **I sat down in the wooden chair placed in the room for visitors, my breathing had calmed by now but my pulse was still racing. I looked at Hook he looked very pale and had dark undereyes.**

 **"Emma..."**

 **"Did he just say my name?"**

 **"So you're Emma, he was asking for you earlier but we didn't know if you were here. Well I'll be off now, I'll see you later Emma."**

 **I sat there for what felt like ages, waiting for him to have a reaction to my presence. About two hours later his eyes fluttered open, our eyes met. He looked very confused.**

 **"Whats the matter? Hook?"**

 **"Is she mine? Milah?"**

 **"Yes. Yes she is."**

 **"Why didn't you tell me, why would you keep me from her. Emma?"**

 **"You barely remembered me, how on earth was I supposed to say "Oh by the way this child she's yours". How would I say that Killian?"**

 **"I don't know Emma, telling me!"**

 **"Killian I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."**

 **"Emma, I remember being the dark one, I remember you making me the dark one. I remember the things I did, the things I said. I think we should take sometime apart, just so I can register all of this."**

 **"We can do this together, Killian"**

 **"Emma, there is still many things I need to rediscover. I need to do this alone. Goodbye Emma."**

 **I slowly walked outside, I went straight past Neal. Once I got outside the hospital I broke down, I couldn't hold in the tears anymore. So I curled up into a ball and sobbed and sobbed.**

 **"Emma!"**

 **"Neal, go-go away."**

 **He picked me up and carried me home, placed me down on my bed. Milah jumped in next to me knowing something was wrong. We stayed like that. Completely still.**

 **I know stop writing reviews about how I must not ship Captain Swan, but there has to be conflict. I love them and sobbed my heart out on the season finale, they are my OTP, and always will be. Hooks too damn cunning to stay dead. Please review though and tell me what you think, I love feedback.**


	6. Losing my grip

AN: same as always I own nothing.

4 months later

It's been 4 months since I've last seen Hook, he's been spotted all over town. People have been gossiping that he was going to set sail across the high seas, a part of me is so happy for him. He might find someone new. I'm glad he's moving on. When Killian broke up with me, it broke me, but it also made me realize that I needed to move on. So I am officially moving in with Neal, I stayed in that house because I still hoped for a future that could not exist. I was no longer hooked on him (pun intended). I was moving on with my life. But there was something I had to do first. I had to talk to him once more, see him once more. To fully let go.

It was rumoured that he was staying in our old loft, with Henry. When I first talked to him about us breaking up, he told me that I couldn't give up. That Killian was worth it. I remember telling Henry that not all happy endings work out, and you can't just wait around for them. He then pushed me away, we haven't talked since. He gives me updates to let me know he's ok, but that's it. Henry believes I'm just now giving up, I've held onto that dream for 10 years. 10 years. Never able to commit to Neal, because I held onto some delusion.

Looking back now, I feel ashamed for not trying harder. But now that everything is done, I wish I could go back. Fight harder. But we all have regrets we can't change. We all have our flaws. Like Gold, his had been his need for power. That had been the end of him. Not the actual end of course you can't kill the dark one. Regina has him trapped in one of her many "prisons". Recently a lot of monsters appearing, I'm assuming it's Hades doing, that would be unsurprising.

As I walked towards the loft memories hit me, of everything we had all been through. How much we had all evolved, become better versions of ourselves. An overwhelming sense of melancholy came over, this was where it had all begun. Where we would all prepare for a mission. I knocked on the door not sure of what I would say. What I would do when I saw him.

"Mom, what are you doing here?"

"Kid, I need to talk to K.. Hook."

"Finally."

"Its not what you think, Kid"

"Then what is it, love"

When I turned to face him I could see that he'd changed a lot from when I'd last seen him. He'd gone back to wear his leather jacket, the one I'd loved so much. He smelt the same as so long ago. It felt like I had gone back in time, back to before everything had gotten complicated. I can do this...

"Hi"

"Hello Emma, it's nice to see you again. Would you like some tea?"

"Sure, I'd love some. Thanks."

As he brewed the tea, I sat there just watching. He wasn't the same. He didn't know I loved hot cocoa with cinnamon. He didn't know me. You can't give in now Emma.

"So Emma there is something I'd like to talk to you about, but since you can here you can go first."

"I've never really done this part, the guy normally leaves or dies before this happens. I'm just going to say it. I love you so much, but I can't wait like this forever. Milah can't wait forever. I'm... I'm giving... I'm giving up on us. You can still find your happy ending Hook. Find it."

"Emma... If that's what you want to do. I'm not going to stop you. Goodbye Miss Swan."

I was about to turn away, but there was something I had to know. Something.

"Why?"

"Why what, Miss Swan."

"Why, why did he give up on us. Why did he cave to the darkness? Why was I not enough?"

"I'm not even fully sure of that myself Miss Swan, he loved you. That much I can tell you is true. Maybe he was just weak Miss Swan, the darkness is a deadly thing. Not something to be messed with."

"Thank you, I have all the answers I need. Goodbye Killian."

"Same to you Miss Swan."

I am ready, ready to be with Neal. Hook would never fully come back to me. This was the closure I needed.

Killian POV

Emma walked out taking my heart with her, I had been planning to ask her to start again. To fully get to know each other, to get back what we had. But she had seemed fully convinced on giving up. I couldn't fight her on it, especially when I don't have all the facts. Emma was moving on, loving someone else. Crap.

"You messed up you know, a part of her was hoping you'd fight for her. Now she thinks you don't care, even though you're doing all this for her. Oh and you forgot, she loves hot cocoa.."

"With cinnamon. And I know I did, but she seemed so determined to break it off."

"She's tired of fighting, she needs this. In her mind she can move on without any regret. Aren't you even going to fight to see Milah."

"If Emma doesn't want me to then I won't, she deserves her happy ending."

"Her happy ending is with you, the book even says so. You're both just giving up, if you had somewhere else to go I'd kick you out right now."

"Emma deserves the best, and Henry I'm not the best, by far."

Emma POV

On my way home I thought it over I was free, just then the radio turned on. I have to get that fixed. A song came, I could swear I'd heard it before.

"Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say, sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face... At the same time I wanna hug, I wanna put my hands around your neck. You're an asshole but I love."

It felt like our song, I shut it off as quickly as I could. He didn't fight, there was nothing else to be said. Nothing.

I'm sorry, but they will have their happy ending. All hope has to be lost.


	7. Fight (Part 1)

AN: This is the moment we've all been waiting for, the moment of ultimate truth. I don't own once upon a time characters, they belong to ABC. I'm now up to date and have to go back to school tomorrow, so updates will be more spread out. I'm sorry to leave it on this (kind of) cliffhanger

3 months later

I'm so happy with my life right now, we are all happy. That's all lies. When I tried to move on with Neal he could tell something was wrong, when I came home that night crying. He also got really annoyed at Hook, he automatically assumed it was him. Now thinking about it I should have given Milah a chance to meet her dad, but I couldn't be around him. Neal won't even be with me until I "get over this". Apparently I can't let him dictate everything in my life. Some of the things Neal said didn't even make sense.

How dare he even think I still have feelings for Killian, they left right after I ended it. If Killian walked up to and begged me to be with him I wouldn't. We've bumped into each other a few times since we talked, and nothings been too awkward. Just a hello and goodbye, for someone who has the other half of your heart. Nothing more. Not even a how are you. He broke me first. Henry started talking to me again last week although he hasn't forgiven me for giving up on my happy ending. He wants to start a new mission to get everyone back together, just like old times. Operation Raven. To return that which is "lost". Basically he's trying to make me work with Killian.

How can he still believe in happy endings? Not with all those monsters running around destroying people we care about. All of them, one mission, to wreak havoc. I was kept on the sidelines until recently to make sure Hades wasn't after me, after what happened with the portal. But his beasts would keep coming, and soon I would be able to rejoin the fight for good. Tomorrow would be a good day. Full of fighting and epic adventures, showing those hell hounds who is boss.

When reaquainting yourself with your talents it's always best to start at the basics and go up from there. Then you know you're weaknesses and strengths, which is crucial when fighting an overpowered enemy. I fell asleep memorizing techniques, I wanted to be on point, to prove that I was ok. I could survive.

My daughter woke me in the morning planting kisses all over my face, her mousey blonde hair covering my face. As my eyes opened she had the biggest smile on her face. Her smile could light up the world, she would be such a charmer when she grew up, just like Killian.

"Good Morning to you too beautiful, what has you up so early?"

"I just wanted to see you before you went to work, Mommy."

"Well what do you think about a fried breakfast? With hot cocoa and cinnamon?"

"Yes please."

"Ok honey, go get ready while I cook."

As I was cooking the bacon the smell came wafting off, making my stomach grumble. It looked so tasty but I didn't have time to eat. When I'd finished cooking I placed it on the dining room table and ran off to get dressed. I reached into my wardrobe and pulled out the nearest thing I could find. My red leather jacket. The one that was tainted by so many memories. I quickly placed it back in the wardrobe and pulled out a black shirt with blue jeans. I then called Mum to see if she could look after Milah while I was out kicking butt. She picked up on the first ring.

"Hello this is Mary Margaret, what can I do far you... Oh Emma it's you, what the matter Honey?"

"I was wondering if you could look after Milah. I'd ask Neal but he won't answer my calls..."

"Sure Honey, always."

"Ok I'll bring her round in 10 minutes, thanks Mum."

I hung up, not sure why I felt so anxious. I felt like something bad was going to happen. Something terrible. After Milah had finished I'd taken her to Mum's. Then I quickly ran to the Sheriff's station, hoping everything would be ok. When I arrived, everyone stared at me like I was some kind of stranger. Once everyone had arrived we set out towards the lake, where most had spawned from, causing mayhem and destruction. The trip was silent everyone silently praying to God that they would return home tonight. Many of the people now had children, so they were more cautious.

When we arrived the scene was a mess, there was blood where someone had been seriously hurt. Most the trees had fallen from a massive force. You could see just by looking this was a war zone, and the beast had won. We begun to walk back to town when a sound much like screaming came from behind us. There 10 feet in the air where flying monster that appeared as though from a nightmare. There about 15 of them and 10 of us. We could do this!

I raised my sword into a fighting stance I prepared for battle, this was going to be long and painful. We had to have each others back. Then as if a signal had been activated them all fought at once, they bared their teeth. They were like razors. I tried to keep them as far away from me as possible, barely missing me every time. The fight went on and on until I felt a sharp burning sensation in my arm. One of the buggers had bit me. Suddenly I thought of a plan, something that may just work. Looking around I could only see 1 or 2 still alive. From what I could see everyone was alive, but some had major wounds. I had to do this. As I tried to rise my knee I realised one of them had also scaled my knee.

I whistled as loud as I could and thankfully it caught their attention, even though my leg hurt I started to run more into the forest away from all the people. I ran deeper and deeper into the woods until my leg gave way. I stumbled and fell over a tree that had been chopped down. As I tried to stand up I fell back to the floor I couldn't get up. I closed my eyes. I was going to die. No one was going to save me. And I wouldn't get a chance to say goodbye to Milah.

I closed my eyes and thought about how I loved her, and even though I had denied it so strongly earlier. I loved Killian. I loved them both so much. I heard the creature land on the ground his breath spreading across my face. This was the end.

Goodbye Killian.

Goodbye Milah.

For a second nothing happened, everything was so silent. Then I heard footsteps behind the monster, a swoosh. I felt something fall into my lap. I looked down and opened my eyes. The beasts head layed there, eyes wide open. I screamed.

I then looked up to see my saviour, a look on his face so smug. He stood there leaning on his sword, he was staring at me.

"For once the Saviour needs saving, good thing I found you in time, Swan."

AN: Whoop, as you probably figured out I'm not very good at fight scenes. Anyway next chapter will be Killian POV. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Review please.


	8. Fight (Part 2)

_**Hello I'm so sorry, time flew by and before I knew it, it was exam time and the I kind of forgot about this story. I get my results today and am slightly worried, writing always seems to calm me down. So here I am 6 months later. As always I own nothing, please review (if you want).**_

 _ **Killian POV**_

 _ **The truth about love is it comes in waves, some so strong they knock you off your feet. But even the truest believer wasn't going to give up hope, I had lost it all the day Emma had come here, she had looked magnificent, I needed to let her go. I couldn't love her the way she loved me. The past 3 months had just confirmed that to be true. From what I had heard around town, Emma returned to work today. I knew she would be great as she always was.**_

 _ **I had seen Emma and Milah a couple of time around town, I wanted to get to know our daughter, but if Emma didn't feel comfortable with it then I wouldn't push it. Henry had tried his best to get us all together but sadly, Emma had declined. Hades was continuing to send out demons to scare us all into sending me back. I had escaped him.**_

 _ **Something about today was making me feel uneasy, I didn't understand why though. All I could do was stare out the window. Outside I saw Emma, she was walking towards the sheriff's station, she looked ready to take down anything. I laid down on my bed slowly falling asleep.**_

 _ **"I raised my sword into a fighting stance I prepared for the battle, this was going to be long and painful." It felt like I was somewhere else, I was readying myself to fight. Then a man appeared next to me, he looked with me. He finally spoke. "She will need help, without it this will be her downfall."**_

 _ **"Wh... What can I do?"**_

 _ **"Save her, you always had the power to remember. It was in here." He pointed to my heart. "Your love for her frozen in time. She needs you Killian. You told her to leave you because you loved her."**_

 _ **"What?"**_

 _ **"You'll understand, soon she'll be hurt. Don't try to fight the magic that links you, it'll bring you back to her... Your Swan."**_

 _ **I awoke with a groan, along my leg there was pain. What had the man said, don't fight it. I let the hurt, taking the pain from Emma. As I did this images formed in my head each bringing back a little part of my memory.**_

 _ **"Don't think I'm taking my eyes off you for a second.**_  
 _ **I would despair if you did. "**_

 _ **"Have you ever even been in love? No. I have never been in love"**_

 _ **"When I win your heart Emma, and I will win it. It won't be because of any trickery, it'll be because you want me"**_

 _ **"You traded your ship for me?**_  
 _ **Aye... "**_

 _ **"If I can help return things to how they were meant to be, then what happens to me here won't matter now, will it? Now go. Save your boy."**_

 _ **"You promised me the truth, not a bloody tour.**_  
 _ **The truth is tricky. You have to look for it."**_

 _ **"Let me die a hero. That's the man I want you to remember."**_

 _ **Before I knew what I was doing, I was out the door, letting my heart guide me to where I needed to be. I passed by trees until I could finally see some kind of monster/demon. Next to it on the floor laid Emma's sword, I quickly grabbed it and chopped off its neck. It made a squelch and thumped into Emma's lap. She was ok.**_

 _ **"For once the Saviour needed saving, good thing I found you in time, Swan."**_

 _ **As I said those words she letting my arms and kissed me, everything was right in the world. I stepped away from her slowly. "Swan there is something I was planning to ask you once we made it back, it took almost 11 years, we did it. When we met I was a man on a suicide mission. You made me love you. And as I said when the time came you have me your heart. I owe you my life Emma, I swear to love you, protect you, and never leave again." I knelt down on one knee. "So Swan, Marry me?"**_

 _ **"Killian... I love you." She said as she kissed me again.**_

 _ **"So is that a yes, Swan?"**_

 _ **"Yes, I will marry you."**_

 _ **There will be a couple more chapters and then I'm afraid this story will be done. As always please leave a review if you want to.**_


End file.
